SiteDo you know The Secret?
Diana: Last night I finally got around to watching The Secret, which I’d had in my Netflix queue for awhile. A few of my friends were buzzing about it, so I thought it was time to see what all the hoopla was about. Plus, I’m always game for inspiration or a good message.
I gotta say … the DVD was a huge disappointment. I actually felt a little icky after watching it. The premise is that everything we have in our lives is there because we attracted it: money, a nice home, a sporty car, a great relationship, etc. The flip side is that we’ve also attracted all the “bad” things: debt, a crummy apartment, the rusty beater, lousy relationships, and yes, even poor health. (Damn! I wish I’d known about The Secret in the womb … maybe then I could have done something about my congenital heart disease!)
There were two things that really annoyed me about The Secret. First, its emphasis on material acquisition. According to the producers of The Secret, everyone from Aristotle and Shakespeare to Emerson and Einstein knew about and used this secret Law of Attraction. In the next breath, the producers urge viewers that they, too, can harness the Law of Attraction to acquire things like money, cars, jewelry — even bikes — into their lives! In short, Shakespeare used The Secret to create Hamlet — and now I can use that very same power to get me a first-class trip to Denmark. Woo hoo!
The other thing that annoyed: the huckstery feel I got from all the presenters. Roughly 80 percent of them are professional motivational speakers, not the movers and shakers of the world. Maybe I’m a snob, but if I want to learn about wealth, I want to hear from Warren Buffet or even Bill Gates — not some smooth-talking “success coach” I’ve never heard of who can teach me how to “attract prosperity” if I cough up $159 for the tape set.
This said, I *do* believe in the Power of Attraction, just not in the way it’s being marketed by these people. A couple weeks ago, I was talking to a writer buddy of mine about how, a year ago, we both decided to make changes in our professional lives. I decided I wanted to be a food writer and recipe developer. Days later, Linda got an assignment where she needed a recipe developer and I said, “Yo, I can help you with that.” This led to more assignments, and less than a year later, 70 percent of my writing work is food-related. I’m actually booked to create over 30 recipes for magazines, newspapers, and corporate clients this summer alone!
My writing buddy has also achieved similar successes in her career: she is now writing regularly for her dream market and her byline is popping up in national magazines everywhere. A month ago, another writer friend said, “OK, I’m going to write a book about X.” I’m not kidding — a week or so later, she was asked to write a book on the same topic (she had to turn it down because of a tight deadline).
I use this power in a lot of ways. I notice my son acts up more when I’m cranky and fussy with him. Weirdly enough, if I start treating him like he’s behaving, he behaves. If I’m grumpy and out-of-sorts on a long car drive, I can bet that the highway will be filled with insane drivers who cut me off or tailgate. But if I sit back, relax, pop on some Beck, and smile, the road mysteriously fills up with courteous, kind drivers.
Linda: I’ve been interested in watching The Secret after hearing so much about it, but I like to avoid feeling icky, so after reading what Diana had to say, I think I’ll skip it.
That said, I believe in the Power of Attraction, but not in some sort of supernatural, otherworldly way. I don’t think that if I decide I want to, say, travel to Denmark (to use Diana’s humorous example), the “universe” hears me and breaks its ass to make my dream come true. What I do believe is that once we set an intention, we open our minds to opportunities that bring us closer to that goal. For example, if we want to travel more, we may naturally start talking to our friends about travel topics, browsing travel magazines, and looking “out of curiosity” at airline fare sites. Then a friend tells us about how his family rented a villa in Tuscany on the cheap, we pitch an article on Tuscany to the travel mags we’ve been reading, and we find a great off-season airline ticket to Tuscany online. In other words, we create “coincidences.” [Diana: So true! I decided I wanted to go to India, and within a couple days of going public with my wish, I found a travel partner for November!]
There’s something about writing down dreams and goals that seems to make us more likely to reach them. A few weeks ago, I discovered a file on my computer called “Goals” that I wrote on December 26, 2003, and then forgot about. Here’s how they panned out:
Goal #1: To have a house with a fireplace, a big bathroom, a porch, and even a sunroom. (This was three years after we bought our first house, and we had no plans to move.)
Result: In 2005, Eric and I bought a house in New Hampshire that has all these features (except it has a patio instead of a porch).
Goal #2: To query The Renegade Writer’s Query Letters That Rock! (Diana had had this idea, but we hadn’t actually pitched it at this point.)
Result: The book came out in November 2006.
Goal #3: To travel more.
Result: Since then, Eric and I have spent a month in Okinawa and a few weeks in Germany and The Netherlands, and we’ve also traveled to Ohio, Texas, Arizona, and New Mexico. We’ll be spending October 2007 in Munich.
Goal #4: To be sought out — and even paid — as a speaker. (Keep in mind that I used to be so fearful of public speaking that I dropped out of Toastmasters!)
Result: In January, I gave my first paid talk (along with Diana). I was also asked to speak at the Erma Bombeck Humor Writers’ Conference in 2008 — a paid gig.
Goal #5: To fix my back. (I have a deformed vertebra in my lower back that limited my movement and caused a lot of pain.)
Result: I saw a physical therapist in 2004 who prescribed exercises and other techniques that greatly diminished my back pain.
Goal # 6: To help cats and teach people how to treat animals.
Result: Eric and I are now volunteer educators at the local SPCA, meaning we go to local schools and the SPCA shelter and give talks to school kids on how to care for animals. We also volunteer at feral cat spay/neuter clinics.
Goal #7: To get back into dialectology. (I studied South Slavic dialectology in graduate school.)
Result: About 18 months ago I was in the Borders café talking with Eric about how I’d like to get back into linguistics in some form. The woman at the next table overheard me and introduced herself: She was a Ph.D. in Slavic Linguistics who had just moved to the area after fleeing New Orleans during Hurricane Katrina. This summer, we’ll be reading some linguistics texts together.
There are a few other goals I met, and there are only two goals on my list that I didn’t achieve.
I don’t believe any of these things happened by some “secret” method or because the universe heard my goals and worked to make them come true. I got the speaking gig most likely because in 2005 I had a website built that had a page that featured my speaking services. My back didn’t magically heal itself; I mentioned the back pain to my doctor, and she referred me to a physical therapist. I got involved in linguistics again because someone overheard me talking about it (and I was talking about it all the time, which made it even more likely that the right person would overhear it).
You want The Secret? Save your 20 bucks; I’ll tell you a secret for free: Write down a brief list of goals you have in your life, no matter how crazy they may sound right now. You can either tuck them away in your wallet (or on your computer) and let the goals ferment in your mind (which is what I did), or be more proactive by figuring out the first tiny step you’d need to take to meet each of those goals, and then take them. Tell all your friends and family members about your goals, and keep your eyes open for opportunities.
13 Responses to “Do you know The Secret?”
You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
Kelly
Said this on June 1st, 2007 at 5:48pm:“The Secret” stinks. Seriously.
Slavic dialectology? Where did you do your grad work? I have a PhD in Slavic from UCLA (1998), started as a linguist, but switched over to literature before the MA.
Sylvia C.
Said this on June 1st, 2007 at 6:45pm:Hey there,
I enjoyed reading your thoughts on the secret. I agree with you!
I am happy to see that most of your goals have come to life.
Have a great weekend!
truly,
Sylvia C.
Kris
Said this on June 1st, 2007 at 8:10pm:You nailed it, ladies! I started watching The Secret with my family (”c’mon! it will teach you all to think positively!”). One by one they left the room, and I turned it off after the third section or so. Skeevy indeed. While I do believe in the law of attraction - in the same manner you’ve listed here - I definitely don’t need The Secret to get there. Ick.
LindaFormichelli
Said this on June 1st, 2007 at 8:16pm:Thanks for the comments, all!
Kelly, I got my MA in Slavic linguistics from U.C. Berkeley in 1995. I did one semester of the Ph.D., then decided to leave that for another (at the time undecided) career altogether. Not too many of us Slavic linguists out there, huh?
valeria
Said this on June 2nd, 2007 at 2:39am:I believe in intention as a powerful vehicle for change. With my kids I spend a LOT of time getting their thinking straight about whatever they need to do well in (school, friends, good choices) and then let ‘em go. They’ve never disappointed me and I think it is because once their intentions were pointed in the right direction the rest was easy.
The first time I inadvertently discovered this “power” was at the end of high school when I was fat and sick of never being able to lose weight. I just decided, without actually doing anything, that I was going to get thin again. Six months later my normally ferocious appetite just quit. In a year I went from a short 145 dumpling to a 111 athlete. It seemed painless and easy and the only way I can account for the many challenging changes in habit that I so effortlessly adopted was that my mind took in my repeated resolve and made the changes where it counted. Before saying no to seconds, I said yes to the vision and the chomping stopped!
And like Linda says, wish lists are great places to write down intentions. Not only does writing them down clarify the vision of what you want, you sometimes discover yourself writing down things you’d never thought you wanted or suspected were missing in your life. So much cheaper than therapy!
Kerri Fivecoat-Campbell
Said this on June 2nd, 2007 at 10:14am:While I have to agree that the DVD - probably for commercial reasons - focused too much on material things, I think what most critics are missing is the underlying message with the law of attraction exactly how Linda has described it. It’s not really about envisioning a trip and like Bewitched, finding your self on a plane, or seeing yourself in a sports car and you miraculously have one next weekend. It’s about opening yourself up to more positive thinking, which allows you to see the possibilities around you. As well, I do believe there is some energy that also draws those “coincidences.”
That being said, The Secret found its way to me during one of the worst weeks of my life - when my mother died. She had been a huge proponent of the law of attraction and the power of positive thinking all of her life. When my aunt brought the DVD to watch while she was staying with me, it wasn’t new to me, but was a new way for me to llok at how my mom lived her own life.
That being said, some really amazing things have happened since I created my vision journal (instead of a vision board, I am a writer afterall). The majority could be considered as my opening new doors for myself by recognizing more possibilities. But a few would either have to be the result of the energy of the law of attraction or some very hefty coincidences - since they were out of my direct power.
Whatever it is, I’ve gotten myself through the first three months as an adult orphan without anti-depressants or therapy. By living my life the way my mother would have lived it and seeing things as she would have, I feel I’m living in a happier and more positive way. My relationships feel stronger and fuller and my attitude seems to be contagious among my family and friends. If I don’t work against the flow with negative actions or feelings, it all seems to work better for everyone.
Call it hooey, or call it ‘the secret,’ whatever it is, it is working for me.
Angela Giles Klocke
Said this on June 2nd, 2007 at 12:22pm:I have yet to run across someone who really enjoyed The Secret. But I too believe in the power of writing/voicing goals and making them happen.
Thanks for sharing this!
kristen
Said this on June 3rd, 2007 at 6:02pm:So I haven’t seen the movie but I agree with the Power of Attraction. Of course you can’t just write down a goal–and poof, there it is–but you need to take steps to make it happen. But writing down the goal gets in your head what steps you need to take.
Very useful post.
Tracy Line
Said this on June 4th, 2007 at 7:40am:Interesting post! I’ve heard much about this book and movie and every time I thought about buying it-something stopped me. Is this coincidence? I think it’s because I knew it wasn’t for me. My opinions are in line with Diana’s. I think I’ll stick with good old-fashioned goal setting and positive thinking. How can you go wrong with that?
Rachel
Said this on June 4th, 2007 at 10:14am:What worries me about The Secret is that there will be all kinds of people who feel the reason they have a horrible disease is that they had it coming. I’m with you guys on that– did my sister ask for congenital heart defects in the womb? Was she just being too negative while floating around in there? Yup, that’s why she died. Too freaking negative.
I believe in hard work and big dreams. Several years ago, I went through a REALLY bad slump. Bad. Horrible. What happened (it was my fault) completely changed our lives and, at the time, I thought it was over. I wouldn’t be able to ever get work again.
Now? Three years later? I write for some national places that I wouldn’t have even begun to fathom. I credit hard work, a lot of hope and The Renegade Writers!
Garry J
Said this on June 5th, 2007 at 5:27pm:The Secret is presented in a very commercial manner by people who have a strong commercial motive for promoting it, but that does not undermine its essential value. The method the Secret advocates for positive thinking and envisioning is certainly powerful. As many others have commented, we can all identify a long list of positive outcomes in our lives that have resulted from consciously formulating a goal and working to achieve it. That is true, but hardly startling. What strikes me as most original and valuable about The Secret is the emphasis it places on evoking a response from the universe. Many people summarily dismiss this as mystical or imaginary, but I believe it reveals a profound truth of life which great people in the past have perceived. Shakespeare may not have used the Secret to create Hamlet, but he certainly understood that life responds to the conscious willed intentions of people – his plays are filled with crucial incidents in which that is exactly what happened. If we dismiss this possibility as imaginary then we are forced to dismiss Shakespeare as lacking the capacity to invent more plausible sequences of events in his stories. If we acknowledge that the universe does respond to our consciousness, then we can understand why Shakespeare is considered the greatest literary genius of all time. And he is not along, all great novelists depict this phenomenon in their stories.
So rather than merely list the instances in which we consciously plan and therefore achieve, I think it would be more useful to look for the incidents in which we consciously sought and the universe brought something without our initiative. In my case, incident number one is an instance in which a book fell off the top shelf at a bookstore 35 years ago – a book I was neither looking for or interested in at the time, but merely purchased out of bewilderment that it could fall without apparent cause literally right into my lap. My wife read it on our honeymoon, I read it a month later and as a result we traveled to India and changed the entire course of our lives. It was literally a life changing event for which I will be eternally grateful.
The life of a 38 year old Chinese business consultant was changed when she and her husband forgot to get a visa for their trip to India and were bumped off the plane by the airline. They returned visa in hand the next day and were given a complementary upgrade to business class by the airline. The woman was seated next to a Dutch businessman who was actively trying to change his seat to move closer to his own traveling companions but failed in his attempt. They got to talking and the Dutchman told her some ideas that she had been searching for years to learn about but did not know where to look. As a result serious problems at her job vanished and her career took off dramatically.
Instead of my listing more, it would be meaningful for each person to reflect on the curious circumstances surrounding so many crucial developments in our lives. The Dutchman called this type of experience LIFE RESPONSE. There is a wonderful explanation and a many striking examples this phenomenon at http://humanscience.wikia.com/wiki/Life_Portal#Life_Response
Leonard Felson
Said this on June 7th, 2007 at 8:41am:I loved your take on The Secret. I heard a piece about it on NPR’s Day-to-Day a month or so ago and have no interest in watching it. But what you said (Diana or Linda? maybe both) about goals I’m find to be true too. But one of my goals eludes me. It’s to write a book using narrative non-fiction as the format. In my vision it would be a great story about change focusing on a few characters and the journey/struggle they/he/she goes through. Real vague, I realize. And I haven’t found just the story yet to pursue. But I’m posting this and sending it out into the universe!
Siobhan Gunning (aka kid_swelter)
Said this on June 19th, 2007 at 4:34pm:Hi, I was amused to read your comments because that’s exactly how my partner and I reacted to watching the movie with friends. There is much to be said for positive thought, the energy that that puts out and what it brings to you, but to use it for pure selfish materialism seems to me to miss the point of the wonderful connection of all creation and, surely, our role of responsibility in that. I also found it subversively judicial towards anyone with a disease, born into poverty, abused, etc. implying that that needed to happen to that person so that they could learn certain lessons, one of which presumably is to learn all about the Secret and start applying it. I sense a new cult is about to begin, a step up at least from the followers of the Celestine Prophesy and its ilk. In the DVD’s defense, it has motivated me to make a conscious effort to be more positive in my thinking and approach to things. With tongue in cheek, I recently created a “I know the secret” t-shirt although, to my horror, I see there are others out there. Should you, like me, believe the Secret isn’t a secret at all (or happen to know some other secret worthy of prompting curiosity and, if you’re lucky, gossip, then please check out this site: http://www.cafepress.com/swelter5/3153270.
Or go straight to the main web site: http://www.sweltermerchandise.com
Needless to say, right now I am thinking positively that you will like what you see and order it on the spot. I just know you’re going to prove me right!