SiteSaying no: I volunteer!
Diana’s post Say No, Dammit came at the perfect time. I went to the doctor two weeks ago after going through bouts of severe stomach and head pain for several months. After doing some medical tests, asking about my lifestyle, and making me keep a food log for two weeks, the doc determined that the pain was related to stress.
I hate when people complain that they’re busy; we’re all busy. But at the time when the pain became the worst (this week), I had eight articles due in three weeks, a website redesign to work on, blog questions to answer, 50+ e-mails to answer per day (and I’m being conservative with that number), an e-course with 22 students, and volunteer work at the cat shelter and at a feral cat spay/neuter clinic (where a feral cat I grew attached to in that short time had to be euthanized because he had congestive heart failure). I’ve also been working on an organization for writers interested in animal welfare, and working to bring more courses and more instructors to the Renegade Writer site.
I realized that I had bitten off more than I could chew, and my body was telling me to slow the heck down.
I’m one of those people who have trouble saying no. Sure, I can say no to telemarketers and Jehovah’s Witnesses and kids taking polls on the street. But I can’t say no to editors and to writers who need help. I knew I had too many articles to do three assignments ago…I accepted the next three assignments after that because (1) it’s flattering to be given an assignment without having to pitch, (2) I like money, and (3) I hate saying no. I did say no to two other assignments this week, but that’s only because I was able to talk the editors into hiring my writer husband instead.
To save my health and my sanity, I need to cut down on what I’m doing. I’m going to be choosier about the e-mails I answer, and will not be as eager to give advice to people who e-mail me asking how to get started as a writer (besides, my students pay me for that!). My replies to questions sent to this blog may be slower in coming. I plan to delegate parts of my job to other people. And if I have enough assignments, I won’t take on any more, because I know deep inside that the editor won’t freak out and blackball me for life.
So this is just a heads-up that I may not be as accessible as I usually am, and is also the start of a discussion: If you have trouble saying no, or you don’t have trouble saying no, please tell us about it in the Comments section. [lf]
11 Responses to “Saying no: I volunteer!”
You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
Susan
Said this on August 9th, 2007 at 9:13am:I just said no to an assignment and I felt bad at first because I had just negotiated more money from this particular editor. But when she told me she would need a 1,000 word feature article in ten days (4 of which I would be traveling out of state), I knew that I wouldn’t be able to do my best work in such a short time and with my other assignments.
Hailey-C
Said this on August 9th, 2007 at 10:25am:Take care of yourself! I find that it’s easy to lose track of balancing life & work in this profession.
I get burned out when I spend too much time focusing on one goal, like breaking into a market. If I’m on deadline I sort of jerry-rig myself with a tiny side mission like: I’m gonna find out the name of my mail lady or find out where the deli man who makes the best sandwiches is from. Not for research. These things get me out of my head for a bit.
LindaFormichelli
Said this on August 10th, 2007 at 7:31am:Susan, that’s great! I just remembered that I don’t say Yes ALL the time — I actually turned down a lucrative book project this summer because I don’t want to work with any more co-authors (except Diana, who is not a PITA).
Hailey, great idea! How creative!
Susan
Said this on August 10th, 2007 at 7:40am:Thanks, Linda! I thought saying no after she offered more money might hinder our relationship, but I just couldn’t take on another last minute assignment at that time. However, she just emailed me with another assignment and now that she knows I’m not a minutewoman, she planned ahead so I have three and half weeks instead of several days. I’m glad I put my foot down without losing her respect!
Melissa Diskin
Said this on August 10th, 2007 at 5:17pm:I’ve found that it’s easy to get mired in work when you lose sight of your controlling vision (or don’t formulate one in the first place). There’s a Bible verse (Proverbs 29:18) that says “Without a vision, the people perish.” Writng down my goals for my LIFE, not just my writing, helps me say No or Yes to the right tasks.
I’m having a rough summer, with round-the-clock morning sickness on top of my writing workload. But getting back to my controlling vision for my life (taking into account family, activities, hobbies, work) helps me every time. I’ve turned down work this summer and ended up making more $$ than I did last year — probably because I can focus better on the writing I have when I also take time for myself, take care of my family, and get the rest I need.
If I can’t do the work myself, I try to pass on the names of freelancers I know can do the work — which helps the editor and writers, too. Because what is the point of hoarding jobs only to spread yourself to thin to do them justice?
Justin
Said this on August 10th, 2007 at 7:19pm:Anybody out there have the opposite problem? That they just can’t pull the trigger and say “yes” when an opportunity presents itself? Maybe they’re afraid of failure or averse to change or think that the “yes” will be recorded, taken out of context, and spliced into various horribly embarrassing audio montages? I’ve known a few people who were so petrified by the idea of change that they’d miss out on potentially fantastic opportunities. Anyone else in that boat?
On the just-say-no subject… I tend to have that problem when I’m in a new situation and don’t feel confident enough in my skills/experience/dashing-good-looks to turn people down. For instance, I once was promoted into a position I didn’t feel at all qualified to take. I woke up every morning wondering if that would be the day when someone finally figured out I was completely incompetent and threw me out of the building before I could pack my Bruce Campbell action figure.
As a result, I never said “no” to anything. “Justin, can you work this weekend?” “Absolutely! My daughter will have other birthdays!” or “Justin, can you fix my computer, build me a new desk for it, and teach my mouse to do the lambada by this afternoon?” “My pleasure!” Lost a lot of hair before I finally realized it was OK to turn people down.
Debbie Delgado-Hand
Said this on August 11th, 2007 at 1:19am:Oooooo I’d love to know more about this organization for writers interested in animal welfare!
LindaFormichelli
Said this on August 11th, 2007 at 8:24am:Thanks, Debbie! It’s called Creative People for Animal Welfare (creativePAW), and it will consist of a searchable database where creative professionals like writers, editors, videographers, musicians, etc., can enter their info and samples. Animal welfare organizations that need help with marketing, fundraising, education, etc., will have to register (for free) before searching the database. There will also be a blog where we can anounce new projects that need volunteers, success stories, etc. My wonderful web designer is working on the site now, but I’m assuming it won’t be done until September/October.
piper
Said this on August 11th, 2007 at 8:45am:Great idea, Linda - I’m sure creativePAW will be an excellent resource, and I will sign on when you’ve got it up and runnning. I already write about (and photograph for, and design for) animal welfare projects.
becky
Said this on August 12th, 2007 at 3:08am:That’s a great idea. I’m finding myself overwhelmed with email, too. I am slowly teaching myself to cull all the things that aren’t pertinent AND decide if something “pressing” really is.
And since I’m working full time, 6 months pregnant, AND trying to build up freelance work, I really need to manage my time carefully. Last semester I was in school full time while working a full schedule (and found out I was pregnant halfway through the semester). My body told me a LOT that I had taken on too much. So I’m trying to find a bit more balance, too, Linda.
Thanks for posting this. It’s a good reminder to all of us.
Ciara
Said this on August 18th, 2007 at 4:27pm:Just to throw in my two cents as a raw foodist, you could consider also taking care of your health, food wise. Plenty of superfoods will keep your body full of energy. Saying that, saying no is important, of course. There is no sense in doing something just because you feel you should.