The Renegade Writer Blog

(Reprinted from Writer’s Digest)
by Linda Formichelli

My article, for a trade magazine, was called “Sucking Up to Housecleaning Managers: Trends in Vacuums.” Twelve hundred words. On vacuums. With such riveting statements as, “The housekeeper uses an upright with a beater brush and edging tools to vacuum narrower corridors and to do edging. In office areas with lots of people, he finds it’s easier to get in and out with canister vacuums.”

Laugh if you must, but we’ve all been there. In order to pay the bills, we occasionally take on a project that’s less-than-thrilling. I prefer writing about health and wellness, but you’ll find my byline on articles about new advances in ink and paper, marketing gimmicks for storage facility owners, and KFC franchisees’ fond remembrances of Colonel Sanders.

It’s hard enough to get motivated to write even the most fascinating article when you work at home and the TV, refrigerator, and phone all beckon. But how can a writer motivate herself to write about topics that are about as interesting as the history of teabags (or vacuums)?

Here are some ways to get motivated, get the job done — and get paid.

* Remember: It’s Not All About You

Here’s the thing: Vacuums may not be exciting to me, but they are of incredible interest to my editor, the publisher, and all the readers of my article. While you may be tempted to do a half-baked job on that article about the operation of school bus fleets, you owe it to all the school bus drivers and fleet operators out there to do your best.

* Spin It Off

Sure, the topic you’re writing about may be boring now — but once you spin it just the right way, you can turn it into an interesting topic for a future article. For example, it was when I was slogging through an article profiling a call center’s strategies to reduce absenteeism that I came up with the idea for the column you’re reading right now. So when you’re dreading picking up the phone to do that interview on dog licensing regulations in Michigan, remember that something the source says might spark an idea for a more intriguing topic.

* Make It Fun

Last year I wrote a quiz about the nutritional values of restaurant foods. This may sound like an interesting topic — especially for someone who writes about health — but gathering information about Boston Market’s side dishes and the fat content of Kung Pao Chicken was a real drag (and writing about the relative merits of bacon bits versus croutons on a salad wasn’t much better). So I decided to have some fun with the topic by injecting humor into the article. I think that the phrase, “When the fat hits your thighs from a big pizza pie — that’s not amore,” was just about the funnest thing I’ve ever written, and my editor agreed. It turned a potential yawner into a fun project.

Everyone likes humor. Get through a dreary assignment by thinking of ways to make the reader (and your editor) laugh out loud.

* Write for the Future

Consider this: The editor who gave you that humdrum assignment today may someday be in a position to assign you articles about sex, drugs, and rock and roll (or whatever it is that interests you). The story of The Renegade Writer is a good example of this. I wrote several articles for an editor at a trade magazine that targeted the printing industry; articles included such thrilling topics as creating window graphics, framing prints, and beta testing printing equipment. But I did my best work, and a few years later I got a call from that same editor saying that he now owned a company that publishes books for writers — and did I have any ideas for him? Thus was born The Renegade Writer, a book that results in a royalty check every month. If I had given a half-hearted effort on those dull printing articles, I’m sure my editor would not have invited me to write an entire book.

The magazine industry is one giant revolving door, with editors moving from one publication faster than you can say, “Did you get my query?” The idea that the editor who assigned you an article on driveway gravel today may assign you a profile of George Clooney or Angelina Jolie tomorrow should motivate you to get cracking on that assignment from hell!

* Free Your Mind

If you think an assignment is a snooze and a half, you may be going in with preconceived notions. Remind yourself that this seemingly boring article could end up being the most entertaining thing you’ve ever written.

Case in point: I was writing about marketing techniques used by storage facility owners. What a snoozer — that is, until one source mentioned that he planned to make a sign out of a pair of underwear fourteen feet across with the slogan, “We’ve got room for all your stuff!” I pressed for information and found that the source got the idea when he saw a pair of oversized unmentionables displayed at an Amish-run company in Pennsylvania. Being a considerate self-storage operator, he had the underwear made two inches smaller than the pair in the Guinness Book of World Records so as not to unseat the current record holder. Boy, did I have fun with that! I managed to turn that piece of information into an entire section, replete with double entendres and underwear-related jokes. (And if I was smart, I would have followed my own advice above and pitched an article on the Amish company that makes giant breeches to a newsstand magazine.)

* Show Me the Money

If you’re writing an article on a tedious topic, it’s obvious you’re doing it for one reason: the money. Last year when I was trudging through an article on corporate gyms, I was thinking about my upcoming trip to Okinawa, which was partially funded by that article. Other times, I think about how much I love my house with the outsized bathroom and the sunporch and the game room — and how the article I’m working on will go towards paying the mortgage on my dream home. So remember, that dreary article will result in a very exciting check.

* Be Choosy

If an article assignment is so very boring that you’d rather put spikes through your forehead than work on it — and even the tricks here don’t help — consider whether you want to accept any more assignments from this magazine or on that same topic. Most of us become freelance writers so we can make money doing something we love. And lucky us — if we have to pinch ourselves to stay awake during an assignment, we have the freedom to say “no” to the next one. [lf]

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