SiteThe Great New Yorker Rejection Project
Whenever my husband Eric has to get a shot, he pinches the skin on his hand so hard that the injection feels like nothing in comparison. Sure, the pinch hurts, but it makes Eric feel better that he’s the one controlling the pain.
We can do the same with rejections. If rejections from Family Circle and AARP sting, make the pain feel insignificant by purposely gathering rejections that really hurt. That way, when you get a “no thanks” from Cat Fancy, you can say, “Psshhht! I’ve been rejected by better than you. I’ve survived rejections from The New Yorker and Vogue!”
You can also compare this to a pox party, where parents have their kids associate with a kid who has the chicken pox, with the hopes that their child will also get the chicken pox and get it over with. Once the biggies are out of the way, you can stop worrying and get on with your work.
I say this only partly tongue-in-cheek. If rejection makes you want to shrivel up, you need to learn that being turned down by editors is just a part of the writer’s life. It shouldn’t hurt; like the injection that Eric got, it should make you stronger — especially if you learn from those rejections to sharpen your ideas and query letters.
So here’s an idea: If you’re so hurt by rejection that it makes you afraid to send out query letters, get out there and solicit rejections by sending queries to the most pie-in-the-sky magazines you can think of. Collect rejections. Keep them in a binder or in a file. After a while, getting a rejection will cause an “Oh well” instead of an “Oh my God, I’ll never write again.”
And, as a bonus: Maybe you won’t be rejected. (I know that thought can be scarier than rejection itself!) Maybe you’ll actually land in The New Yorker, or The Atlantic, or Harper’s, or Vogue. Then you can tell Entrepreneur and Ferret World to stuff it.
You need to get an injection of the antidote to rejection-fear. Let the hand pinching begin! [lf]
9 Responses to “The Great New Yorker Rejection Project”
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diane
Said this on March 3rd, 2008 at 9:24am:Great attitude, I like it!
Funnily enough, I’ve had more soul-boosting rejections from some of my dream publications (encouragement to try again, etc) than from the places lower on my list. And sometimes I’ve landed gigs I never dreamed I would, so I totally agree.
Another tip I use to gee myself up is to collect rejections in a ‘numbers game’ type way. The more you try, the more you have to lose - and to gain.
There’s a fantasically successful award-winning children’s author called Malorie Blackman who had 80 rejections before she got a book deal. So if the New York Times et al think I’m giving up before I’ve been turned down by them at least 80 times, they’ve got another think coming!
x
ElaineAppletonGrant
Said this on March 3rd, 2008 at 9:26am:Linda, this is a great post. If there’s one thing that’s tremendously helped my career in just the last six months, it is that I’m finally, after 20 years (!) developing a thick skin. (Well, thicker…). A good friend of mine, who is ten years older than me, has relentlessly pursued a successful freelance career and has in the last couple of years been published in the Washington Post, More, O, and landed a $200K book advance for a book that a publisher ASKED her to propose after reading one of her magazine stories. She told me “Oh, I’ve got such a thick skin — I’ve been rejeted more times than I can count.” When I heard that, I thought — so what if I’m rejected, and I started pursuing better clients, and getting them. I’ve also gotten really good clients, and potential clients, by sending out a pitch for a story that got killed, using rejection in my favor!
Star
Said this on March 3rd, 2008 at 1:03pm:You actually got an answer back from AARP? I am floored! They are the master of the no-answer answer, you know the one: “Pretty soon, if you haven’t heard from us, it will dawn even on your little writer’s pea brain that we don’t like your idea.”
Rachel
Said this on March 4th, 2008 at 1:58am:This is good. “No” actually means “next”, as I’ve heard people in direct sales say. ElaineAppletonGrant, I’m new to freelancing, so I’m not sure I understand what this means: “I’ve also gotten really good clients, and potential clients, by sending out a pitch for a story that got killed, using rejection in my favor!” The query was originally accepted, and then when you sent the story in it wasn’t used, and then you pitched it to somebody else (somebody better)? Thanks!
ElaineAppletonGrant
Said this on March 4th, 2008 at 11:00am:Hi Rachel —
Good question. That’s exactly what happened. A regular client of mine accepted a feature pitch, but when I wrote it, they killed the story. I still believe they killed it not because of the story itself but for some internal reasons, and I really believed in the story. So I gathered my ego up off of the floor and re-pitched the same story to a couple of different sections at The Boston Globe, including the magazine; a couple of different sections at the NYT; Boston Magazine; and a few others. In each of the first three cases, editors wrote back and said they really want to work with me, but they couldn’t use this particular story. I’ve since written several times for the Globe, and I know I can pitch the Times again when I’m ready. I did finally sell a version of the story to a custom pub, so it will see the light of day, but the better lesson for me was that something that made me feel like bird doo turned out to be a wonderful opportunity!
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Said this on March 4th, 2008 at 3:38pm:[...] The Renegade Writer offers yet another twisty and terrific way to keep perspective with the Great New Yorker Rejection Project. [...]
Debra
Said this on March 4th, 2008 at 10:58pm:I know I shouldn’t feel this way, but rejections are still really hard for me. In fact, I’ve deliberately restricted my writing career to mostly online, advertised jobs because I’ve been intimidated by the thought of rejection from the print publications. Thanks for encouraging me to give myself permission to try and fail. I think that’s exactly what I need to do.
Rachel
Said this on March 5th, 2008 at 1:45am:Wow, that’s a fantastic story! Thanks so much for explaining.
Jennie
Said this on March 5th, 2008 at 11:26pm:Twenty years ago, I was trying to get short stories published, and I got dozens of rejections. Lots more than my friends, who were talented writers but not persistent. As I approached my hundredth rejection, I decided to have a party when I got it, inviting a few friends who had been reading & commenting on my work. But then it didn’t come . . . and didn’t come . . . and then finally it came, and it began, “Rejection is never an occasion for joy . . . ” But in this case, it was.
My first acceptance, though, was the occasion for greater joy.
Thanks for your post, Linda. The only rejections that depress me now are the ones where I got very close (”our editorial board was divided . . .”).